Words Carved On Our Hearts
by Through the Mirror Darkly
Summary: After the Night of Passion, Jason leaves Port Charles to work out the conflicting emotions he feels for Elizabeth. Elizabeth faces hurtles in the aftermath, dealing with her divorce and her baby—whose father is MIA and that she is unable to reach—and feels on the verge of a breakdown. When she is at her lowest, she is found by Jason, but is it too little, too late?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own General Hospital. This is purely for amusement purposes only.

Summary: After the Night of Passion, Jason leaves Port Charles to work out the conflicting emotions he feels for Sam and Elizabeth. Elizabeth faces hurtles in the aftermath, dealing with her divorce and her baby—whose father is MIA and that she is unable to reach—and feels on the verge of a breakdown. When she is at her lowest, she is found by Jason, but is it too little, too late?

Inspired by "One Night, Two Babies" by Kathie DeNosky

* * *

 **WORDS CARVED INTO OUR HEARTS**

 **By ThroughtheMirrorDarkly**

* * *

 **PART ONE OF TWO**

 **Jason Morgan** fled Port Charles.

Maybe it was cowardly. Maybe it was the only way to preserve his sanity. He didn't know anymore. He thought he had his life figured out. That he loved Sam, and had wanted to start again. Of course, then he found Sam with Ric. The betrayal had stung him, but not to the level that he had thought it would. If he really loved Sam, then wouldn't he be hurt? Wouldn't he feel rage? Instead, he felt relief, and he hated himself for feeling that of all things. It made him feel like the brain dead, stone cold mobster that people always accused him of being. He had gone back to the penthouse, trying to work all of his feelings and thoughts in his head. He tried to put them all in order, and half way through the bottle of tequila, he realized that while he cared about Sam…he just didn't love her.

That he had dodged a bullet this night because getting back together with someone out of obligation or guilt was not the way to live his life. He thought himself firm in this decision, and then Elizabeth showed up at his door. The pain etched onto her beautiful face had been haunting, and she relayed all that had happened to her. Her painful experience echoing his own in so many ways, and the more they talked, the more old feelings brim to the surface. Old feelings that had never gone truly away, but had been shoved out of sight.

There was no other way for the night to end except with her in his arms.

The next morning was met with no regrets.

But Jason was more conflicted than ever. Elizabeth was his ultimate temptation. A part of him would always be hers, and no other woman could usurp that from his heart. Yet with the volatile state her life was in, and her determination to break away from Lucky, he knew that giving into those feelings right now would just cause more trouble for her. And he never wanted to hurt her.

After she left, Sam came to him pleading for a second chance and Jason told her flat out that he knew about what she did with Ric. Sam hadn't expected that, and the tears started soon after. She told him that it was the drink, and that Ric had forced her into it. Jason didn't believe it, but he told Sam as gently as he could that neither of them was in a good place right now, and they couldn't fix their relationship while things were like this. Sam had left the penthouse soon after, but he knew that didn't mean she stopped trying to convince him to get back into a relationship with him. She would even go to Sonny and Carly to get them to hound him into doing what they thought he should and living his life how they thought he should.

He had to run from the obligations and conditions imposed by Carly, Sonny and Sam.

And he had to outrun the temptation that Elizabeth presented. A life with her had been something he always dreamed of, but with the way things were now—with Lucky's addiction and affair, he couldn't put his dreams on Elizabeth's shoulders. She had too much going on already.

So he packed his bags, and left on his motorcycle in the middle of the night. He never looked back, because if he had, he would have realized that he had left something behind with Elizabeth.

A child.

* * *

 **THREE AND A HALF MONTHS LATER**

 **Elizabeth Webber** hadn't thought her life would be like this.

A few months ago, if you had told her that she would be divorced from Lucky and pregnant with Jason's baby then she would have laughed at the absurdity of it. Of course, life liked to take roads that one least expected, but Elizabeth couldn't regret this road. After the ups and downs her marriage had been put through, her night with Jason had given her clarity on her thoughts and feelings towards Lucky. Sometimes love wasn't enough, and if Lucky couldn't get better for himself, then no one else could do it for him. She had hired Diane as her lawyer; the other woman agreed to do it for a smaller fee than she usually got when she heard the details of the fallout of the relationship. Elizabeth readily admitted that she cheated on Lucky—while she didn't regret her night with Jason, she was still technically married to Lucky even if her heart was no longer in it—but not with Patrick, and only one night after she caught him with the third time with Maxie Jones. Elizabeth felt bad for telling Diane how Maxie stole the drugs from the hospital, but not for Maxie's sake. She felt horrible because she knew the blow out would hurt Mac, who had been going through a lot lately.

She told her of the incidents with Cameron—the close call with pills that Lucky had shoved into the toy box, and the loaded gun going off in the home. She explained how she had to lie to her grandmother about renovations to get Cameron out of the house and out of danger. Elizabeth explained that she hadn't been ready to see that Lucky wasn't going to get better, and she still held onto hope then. Diane warned her that even though Elizabeth had gotten Cameron out of the situation, the fact she didn't file for divorce until months afterwards could reflect badly on her.

"I know it might," Elizabeth nodded. "And if worst comes to worst, I have my grams and my sister ready to step in if custody of Cameron is taken from me by Social Services."

Thankfully, the judge proceeding over the case did not do that. Judge Rathborne was a fair and just individual who was able to look at the situation, and see the plight the young mother had faced. She merely issued a reprimand to Elizabeth, stating that she was to not allow Lucky Spencer near Cameron and that is she did, then she would lose custody of him.

Elizabeth had no intention of that.

That was the fairly easy part of the divorce. The rest was messy. So painfully messy. Lucky had driven their divorce straight into a courtroom by fighting signing the papers, and it was only because Diane's smooth maneuvering that the case was brought up right away instead of a year later. Lucky hurtled accusation after accusation at Elizabeth from her sleeping with Patrick, to her sleeping with Leo, to her sleeping with any guy under the sun. There was no proof of such claims because Elizabeth hadn't slept with anyone besides Jason, a fact that Diane stressed was a result of her catching Lucky cheating on her again and she needed a safe place. One thing led to another, as simple as that.

Alexis, who was Lucky's attorney, tried to paint it in a very different light, but the judge put a stop to that when it was obvious that Alexis was weaving a story instead of sticking to the facts. People were called in to testify. Lulu had been called to the stand, and while she was sympathetic to her brother, even stating that Elizabeth owed him, she didn't deny he had been sleeping with Maxie. When it was clear that Lulu wouldn't help their cause, Alexis had her dismissed. Maxie was called to the stand by Diane, and the blond tried to weave a tale of star crossed lover up and how horribly neglectful Elizabeth was until confronted with video footage of her stealing drugs from the pharmacy to supply Lucky.

Needless to say, the Judge ruled rather quickly. She granted the divorce, and Lucky got to keep his house—because Elizabeth didn't want to be a place filled with bitter memories—while he got no visitation with Cameron, and any rights he had to the boy—which were few because he never legally adopted Cam—were stripped. Elizabeth didn't want any alimony because she didn't need it. She had been the big bread winner, and she didn't want to accept any support from Lucky. In turn, Lucky's medical bills were his own and not her responsibility anymore.

That had all happened a month ago, and as Elizabeth stepped into Kelly's with the finalized paperwork in her hands, she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her chest. Yet that couldn't dispel the worry that gnawed at her, she absentmindedly shifted her big coat over her stomach to conceal the baby bump that had started to show. Jason bought the faulty Enduros condoms that were manufactured by a company owned by ELQ, and now she was pregnant. If Edward Quartermaine ever found out, he would be utterly thrilled by it all.

Not that Elizabeth went around blabbing about her one night stand. She had let Emily and Nicolas—who couldn't get their heads out of Lucky's ass to see her point of view—know that it had happened, but clammed up when they wanted the identity of the man she had slept with. Jason didn't deserve to be a punch bag for the Spencers, or anyone else any more than she did. She only told them enough to make it clear that the baby wasn't Lucky's, and that she and Lucky hadn't had sex in months.

Lucky still stirred the pot by saying they must have had sex, and he just didn't remember. That it was his baby, and she was lying. He even had Alexis draw up paperwork for a DNA test, and for full custody.

Diane had laughed outright, but it didn't stop the outrage Elizabeth felt. He was suing her for custody of her stomach! The divorce was done, and over with, but Lucky just wouldn't let go! He saw this as a slight to him, but he wasn't her concern anymore, she reminded herself. Brushing her bangs out of her eyes, Elizabeth stepped up to the counter and ordered a hot chocolate. She had been wanted one all day, and practically moaned when she took the first sip of it.

"Elizabeth," Sam McCall said, coming to stand by the counter next to her. She smiled, but there was sharpness to her gaze. "You are positively glowing today. One wonders how you do it."

Elizabeth paused, but only for a second. She had spotted Sam in the waiting room after she left appointment with Kelly, but she had thought nothing of it. Now, she had to reassess that. If Jason told Sam about the night of the blackout before he went MIA, it wouldn't be a big jump for Sam to make the conclusion that the baby she carried was Jason's. "Olay moisturizer in the morning and at night," Elizabeth answered, without batting an eyelash. "What do you want, Sam?"

"I'm just wondering how you are going to manage being a single stay at home mom now. I mean, you quit your job, and if rumors are true you are having a baby," Sam said, with a deceptively idle tone. Her brown eyes flickered down to the stomach, where the barest trace of a baby bump could be seen, but only if someone knew to look for it. "Tongues are wagging about who your baby daddy is. Some say it's Patrick Drake. That would be rather tragic, seeing as how he started a serious romance with Robin."

"It's not Patrick," Elizabeth rolled her eyes, and went to leave.

Sam however, blocked her path.

Annoyance flared in Elizabeth's blue eyes. "You have something more to say?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you, Elizabeth? I know about you and Jason."

Elizabeth pretended to think. "Me and Jason what? Sam, I'm afraid you are going to have to indeed spell it out for me because I'm not sure where you are going with this," she said, barely refraining from keeping the edge of sarcasm out of her voice.

Sam stepped closer. "I know that you were the whore that slept with Jason. He didn't even bother changing the sheets before he left, and I found your scarf on the floor," she stated, with a bitter and anger note to her voice.

"Dirty sheets in Jason's penthouse, and my scarf—which could have been left there at any time I visited—and you come up with a scandalous night of passion between me and Jason? Wow, you are surely the world's greatest detective," Elizabeth chuckled, her expression pinched. The last thing she needed was Sam to run her mouth about what she thought she knew, even if it was the truth. She didn't want Sonny and Carly hounding her. They had already been all over her when she came to them to get a way to contact Jason, and on top of her weekly tirades courtesy of the Spencer clan and its allies, her blood pressure was already too high to be comfortable. "How anything gets past you is a wonder."

"Listen here you smarmy bitc—"

"No! You listen here you cock juggling bitch," Elizabeth interrupted, with a venomous glare pinned on Sam. "I own up to my past. I don't run from it, and I don't change my name to escape it. I cheated on my husband, yes. I haven't kept quiet or pretended that I'm a saint when it came to my marriage, but don't you dare stand there and think that you have the right to judge me because I know exactly who you rutting around on the floor with the night of the blackout. And you know the saying, right? She who lives in a glass whorehouse shouldn't throw stones," she hissed out, through clenched teeth. Her blue eyes narrowed, and she practically dared Sam to say something next. "And even I did sleep with Jason the night of the blackout, it really isn't any of your damn business because you two weren't together."

Sam was vibrating with anger, her dark eyes blazing with fury. "If that is Jason's baby it is my business," she snarled, her hands clenched into fists at her side. It took everything in her not to slap the smug look off of Miss Priss's face, but she reminded herself of the baby bump. Of the possibility of Jason's baby, and knew that she had to keep calm. If she wanted to raise that child it meant another five months of allowing Princess Purity to strut around like she owned this place.

"No, it's not," Elizabeth said, flatly. "Get over yourself, Sam."

Elizabeth brushed past Sam like she was nothing more than a flying buzzing in her path, and Sam seethed inwardly. She watched the former nurse walk out of Kelly's, and a righteous fury built up inside of her. Elizabeth might act like the cat that ate the canary, but she wouldn't for long. As soon as Jason got back Sam intended to tell him about how Elizabeth hid the child from him, and start slowly dropping hints for him to get custody. Elizabeth might be the broodmare, but Sam would be the mother raising that child. The child that was meant to be hers.

* * *

 **Jason had returned.**

His dark car drove down the long highway back towards Port Charles. He had been sticking to drive instead of flights because he didn't want Sonny to track him, and to cash instead of his credit cards. He wished that Sonny had been the man he once knew that would allow him to the space to breath, but their relationship wasn't like that anymore. As much as Sonny claimed him as brother, Jason felt more like a puppet on a string most days. Shaking his head, he narrowed his eyes on the road as the windshield wipers batted away the snow coming down from the sky, and he noticed something odd up at the side of the road. There seemed to be a vehicle pulled off to the side, and the closer he got to it that foreboding sensation in his gut grew tenfold.

It was Elizabeth's vehicle!

Heart in his throat, Jason immediately pulled over and got out of his car. He dashed through the torrential rain, and to the driver side of the vehicle. He could make out Elizabeth's fuzzy figure leaning over the steering wheel with a decidedly depressed posture, and he pulled open the driver door. He heart her gasp, and large blue eyes—eyes that had haunted him in impossible dreams these last few months—swung towards him. Instead of the delight and happiness he had hoped, a mulish and decidedly bitter expression crossed her face.

"Elizabeth, are you—"

"Go away, Jason. I'm fine."

* * *

Fuck, she hated being a damsel in distress.

She hated it even more when the universe made Jason the one to swoop into her rescue because not only did it make her think of Carly's harsh words, it also reminded her of the blinding anger she felt towards him for up and leaving without a word. She knew she was just his friend, but he had been her rock. Her stability before he had disappeared from Port Charles, and the only one who had her back, urging her to do right for herself and for Cameron. He had supported her without the mention of Lucky, and she sorely needed that these last few months.

It also made her ache that she couldn't get in touch with him. That there was this wall of distance still between them, one that she thought had disappeared after all this time, but it made her feel like that young girl sitting at the penthouse all over again just waiting to be acknowledged.

She hated that feeling.

"Elizabeth, are you—"

"Go away, Jason," she hiccupped, brushing away the burst of angry tears. "I'm fine!"

Of course, Jason didn't go away. Instead, he looked at her with a slightly wounded expression resembling a puppy that didn't quite understand what he did wrong. "Elizabeth, you aren't fine. You are sitting here on the side of the road in the snow," he pointed out, lightly. "You obviously need my help."

"Maybe I want to sit here."

"Start the car," Jason challenged, his eyes narrowed.

"No," came the stubborn reply.

"You can't start it, can you?" Jason asked, eyebrow ticked upward.

Elizabeth glared. "Don't get smug."

"I'm not. I'm not. Just let me help you out, alright?" Jason held up his hands in a peaceful gesture.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline," Elizabeth said, frostily. "Don't you have other people in Port Charles you need to go see before me? I'm sure I'm way at the bottom of the list of your concerns."

Jason gave her a long look. There was something about the way she held herself that immediately tickled a memory in the back of his mind. It clicked that Elizabeth was purposely trying to get him to leave her be, but what was the reason? She never could hide her emotions from him, but she was doing her damnedest to try. "Elizabeth, right now, you are my only concern," he told her, seriously. He didn't spend months working out his priorities just to go and put Sonny, Carly, and whoever else first. He had done that for so long that he had lost sight of the most important person in his life, and had messed up where she was concerned. He just needed time to convince Elizabeth that she was that important to him. "Please, just let me drive you home. I know you're mad that I took off without explanation—"

"I'm not the only one," Elizabeth said, caustically.

"—but I promise to explain. Now please," Jason begged, with a pleading look at her.

Elizabeth's shoulders slumped. She was tired and exhausted. The fight with Sam had honestly taken more out of her than she first thought, and it was because of the uncertainty that Sam's knowledge put her in. She looked up at Jason's face, and knew that unless she wanted her fragile new life to be unraveled that she needed to tell him. She was still mad as hell, but she couldn't live with the burden of a lie.

"Alright. But can we…can we go somewhere private? We need to talk."

Jason blinked, but nodded. "Anywhere you want."

"My studio."

* * *

 **Perhaps the studio** wasn't the brightest of choices.

It held so many memories for the pair of them. And also Elizabeth kept shifting her coat of her stomach, where Jason's eyes would linger far too long. It was obvious the second she got out of her car that he deduced that she was pregnant, and she could see the flash of hope that he quickly reigned in. She stood there, nervously her arms wrapped around herself. Neither one of them has stepped up to talk just yet, and the silence was beginning to eat at her. With a heavy sigh, she glanced up at him, "Are you going to ask?"

Jason licked his parched lips, and ran his palms along his jeans. "Is…is the baby Lucky's?" He asked, quietly. He was half afraid of the answer, because if the baby was Lucky's then he could see her returning back to her first love. And that would crush him more than anyone knew. He knew that Elizabeth was a temptation for him. A part of him had always been in love with her, but he had always been afraid to taint her life with the darkness in his. He had only dreamed of having a family, and a life with her. If it were a possibility now, then he didn't know if he could hold those feelings back.

"No," Elizabeth said, softly.

A look of awe and longing filled his blue eyes. "T-then it's mine? The baby is mine?"

Emotions clogged her throat, and she nodded, lightly. "Yes."

"We're…we're having a baby?" Jason's voice was strained with hope. That burst of emotion when he first held Michael was nothing compared to the surge of emotions that rushed through his heart right this second.

Elizabeth smiled, tearfully. "Yeah, we're having a baby."

Jason reached out, then hesitated. "Can…can I…"

Elizabeth bit her bottom lip, and took his hand in hers, guiding it to her baby bump. As soon as he pressed his palm against her stomach, the baby inside of her kicked as if it knew, and it brought up a fresh wave of tears for her. She watched this love blossom inside of Jason, in that split second for this child, and that just made her love him even more. His heart was so big and filled with such compassion and kind despite his job, and that she was one of the few that got to see was something she would always cherish.

"He kicked," Jason smiled, looking down at Elizabeth. She was glowing, like she had been when she was pregnant with Cameron. She was always so beautiful to him, and he wished he could show her how he saw her. So he could erase the doubt that Ric and Lucky had created. Even he had a hand in when they first tried to be together, and he was now keenly aware of how much a fool he had been. How much time that he wasted nothing being with her because he had never felt so complete in his life when she was by his side.

"He?" Elizabeth said, teasingly.

Jason chuckled, rubbing soothingly circles along her baby bump with his thumb. That tiny flutter—another kick—hit him to the core of his soul, and he knew there was nothing that he wouldn't do for this child. "Just a feeling," he whispered, reluctantly drawing his hand away from her. "I knew the condoms were defective. I heard it on the news, but I never thought that you would be…with my baby…" Jason's throat bobbed, sharply. "Elizabeth, if I had known that you were pregnant—"

"You would have come back," Elizabeth finished for him, softly. "I know. I tried to see if Sonny or Carly had a way to contact you, but they weren't overly enthused to help me."

"You went to Carly?" Jason said, shocked and slightly amused.

"Yes, I even went to Carly," Elizabeth smiled, a hint of sadness on her face. "I don't think you know what all that I'm willing to stand to be in your life."

That statement had more effect on him than she probably knew. His heart clenched painfully tight in his chest, and he had to look away from the intense look in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Elizabeth. I left without giving anyone hint or way to call me, but I should have…I should have left a way for you to get a hold of me," he said, voice filled with regret.

"Jason, you don't owe me anything," Elizabeth stated, because she did not want to be an obligation to him. She had never wanted to be that to him. "While I'm mad that you left, your life was in chaos just as badly as mine was. If I hadn't been married to Lucky, or had Cameron to worry about I probably would have packed up and left to clear my head, too."

Jason's head cocked to the side slightly. "Your life was in chaos?"

"Well, it's not perfect, but when is life, right?" Elizabeth gave a light chuckle, brushing her hair out of her face. After a moment, a somber expression crept across her face and she released a heavy sigh. "I divorced Lucky."

His eyes went wide. "You went through with the divorce? I knew you adamant back at the penthouse, but Lucky always…" Jason trialed off, uncertainly. His mind raced with the new knowledge that Lucky was no longer Elizabeth's husband, but was he out of her life? Outwardly, he seemed composed, but inwardly a torrent of emotions stormed through him.

"Always had a hold on me," Elizabeth nodded, a self-deprecating smile on her lips. "I've often chosen what's best for Lucky, at my own expense, but after our…night together, it had made things clear for me. I will always love Lucky, but I'm not in love with him. Also I have to think about what's best for me, and Cameron, and this new baby. Staying in a situation where Lucky was an addict, and hasn't changed his ways, was not that."

"He hasn't gotten clean?" Jason asked.

"No," she said, with a shake of her head.

"I'm sorry," Jason replied, sincerely.

"It's not your fault," Elizabeth told him, lightly. "You aren't the one that put those pills in Lucky's hands."

"And neither are you," Jason reminded her, gently. While she may not love Lucky like she used to, Jason could see that this was hurting her deep inside, and his heart went out to her. He wanted nothing more than to bring her into his arms, but he could sense fragileness to her. Like if any more weight was added to her shoulders than she might crack, and he didn't want to be responsible for her falling apart. "I know how much this hurts you to see Lucky to do what he is doing, and I can feel regret that I didn't step up before now and help you."

"You listened," Elizabeth said, with a sniffle. "When everyone else was pushing me to with Lucky, you were the only one pushing me to do what's best for Cameron and myself. You were the only one who had my back, and was unbiased. You'll never know how much that helped me, and helped keep me sane through some difficult times."

Jason still felt that he should have done more, but didn't argue. Instead, his eyes drifted towards the baby that Elizabeth all that more gorgeous to him; the gentle maternal curves called to something primal deep inside his soul, and the apple of his throat bobbed. "Where do we go from here?" He asked, a furrow along his brow.

Elizabeth shifted, nervously on her feet. "I guess, we co-parent?"

"Co-parent?" Jason quirked up a brow.

"You know, two people who have a baby, but aren't together that work together to help do best by the child," she explained, with a faint blush in her cheeks. "I won't stop you from being a part of this child's life. I want this baby to know it's father, but you know that it's not going to be easy."

"But it'll be worth it," Jason replied.

Elizabeth faltered. "Y-you really mean that, don't you?"

"Of course," Jason said, running his hand along the length of his jaw. "You mean a lot to me, Elizabeth, and I'm not just saying that because of the baby. You have always been special to me, and I'm sorry I haven't always shown my appreciation for having you in my life."

"Well, I can remember quite a few times that I wasn't exactly appreciative, either," Elizabeth told him, with a light laugh. "But…you mean a lot to me, too. And while the circumstances are less than ideal, I couldn't imagine this baby having a better father than you."

The smile she gave him was contagious. He felt his face split into a smile, and his eyes traced, memorizing her entire face before he let out a light breath. "I do think we need to address some things, if we are going to go forward with this co-parenting thing," Jason started, cautiously. He knew that Elizabeth hated charity, and he knew that they were going to butt heads over him taking care of her, not just the baby. But maybe he could get her to understand that she was always more than just obligation to him, and that meant addressing some of their uglier past. "The time where Sonny faked his death, then what we did afterwards by getting involved with Courtney and Ric."

Elizabeth pulled a face. "Why do we need to talk about that?"

"Because that's where our misunderstanding started, Elizabeth," Jason replied, earnestly. "That's where we fell apart, and I don't want it to be there as we move forward. As co-parents, or…"

"Something more?" Elizabeth finished, feeling her heart thump in her chest.

"Yes."

Elizabeth bit her lower lip, and crossed her arms over her chest. She looked around the studio that held so many great memories for them, and her shoulders slowly slumped. "It was never the lie that bothered me, Jason. I mean, it hurt but I think I could have gotten over that given time. It wasn't your lie, and Sonny was responsible for it. He didn't have the forethought to think about our relationship and what it would do to us because he was too focused on himself. That part I knew wasn't you," she told him, honestly. She had so many regrets for that period in time, and even now it made her stomach roll with anxiety. "But you never called. You never stopped by. I felt a fool waiting on someone who didn't care."

"I always cared, Elizabeth," Jason countered, frowning deeply. "I just didn't want to have to lie to you constantly about what I was doing. I know how you felt about lies, and I didn't want to be another liar to you."

Elizabeth shook her head. "I never needed you to come up with a story or a lie, Jason. I just needed to know that you were okay, and that you cared. Those were the only details that mattered to me," she said, her voice cracked a little bit. "And I walked away from you…because I wanted you to come after me. I wanted you to prove me wrong. That I did matter to you, and all those doubts were in my head."

Jason blew out a harsh breath. "And I didn't."

"And you didn't. Virtually the next time I turned around you were with Courtney, and I let my jealousy get the better of me. I let myself paint this picture that you two were together even before I left. It just added a whole new level of pain," Elizabeth stated, her eyes downcast. She fiddled with the end of her scarf idly, and swallowed thickly. "Courtney…Courtney couldn't wait to rub it in my face that you told her that you never loved me."

"I didn't mean it. I just…" Jason's shoulder rose as he drew in a haggard breath. "I was so desperate to prove that what you did didn't hurt me. That you walking out hadn't fundamentally changed a part of my life, but it did. So I threw myself into the relationship with Courtney. Maybe I like that she treated me like I was infallible. Maybe I liked that she didn't push me to be a better man. I was stupid and foolish…" Jason wished he could turn back time because if he had known that Elizabeth didn't leave because she didn't love him, then he would have followed her to the ends of the earth to prove himself. He had been so blind, but not anymore.

"Jason, please, don't beat yourself up for getting into a relationship for all the wrong reasons. That is pretty much why I got involved with Ric. I was so desperate to be loved and to matter that I was suckered by him. And every time you or Carly or Sonny even mentioned Ric was a bad guy, I felt that I had to prove you wrong," Elizabeth groaned, running her fingers through her hair. "I had spent so much of my relationship defending him that I had so much to lose if he turned out to be what everyone claimed. The fallout from my marriages—both of them—to Ric is one of the reasons I left Port Charles along with the whole mess with Zander. I'm guessing the fallout of the night of the blackout is why you left, too."

"Sam…Sam approached me the next day. She confessed to what she did after I told her I had seen it, and gave me this sob story. She pleaded with me to give our relationship another try, and to not give up on us. I could see myself being pushed back into a life that I had realized the night before wasn't good for me," Jason admitted, rubbing his tired eyes. "And…I had to get away from you."

"From me?" Elizabeth reeled back hurt.

"You tempt me, Elizabeth. You are this dream I've never been able to let go of," Jason told her, a pained expression on his face. "And I wanted to start something new with you. All these feelings that were buried couldn't be put away. Not again. But I couldn't push you into that. Not when your life was already in shambles."

"It's not in shambles anymore," Elizabeth pointed out. "Well, not for me personally. Although if you ask the rest of Port Charles that is running around like chickens with their heads cut off…" Her blue eyes always saw into his worries, and there was a time that she couldn't be there to help alleviate them. But now, she could be there for him like he had been for her. "But there is more to this than just our past. You are worried about something else."

"I am."

"Jason, just tell me. Whatever it is, I can handle it."

Jason's jaw clenched, and unclenched. "I'm worried about the baby. I know that you take care of yourself the best you can, and that you eat healthy and do everything to protect your unborn child. But there…" He trailed off, fighting to find the right words to describe the anxiety he felt.

"There is this worry you can't let go of because of what happened with Courtney and her miscarriage? And then with Sam's baby?" Elizabeth asked, lightly. She remembered how Courtney had torn into Jason over a baby he hadn't even known about until it was gone. How it had inevitably been one of the major fractures in their relationship, and a good part of why it ended. That even now that it left scars of Jason's heart, and had been a reason he had avoided

Jason's blue eyes flickered up to Elizabeth, a horrible pain in his gaze. "Sam's baby…I knew that baby was never gone to be mine. I helped Sam through the pregnancy, but I knew Sonny would always step up to be there father in the end. I was saddened by the loss, but not devastated. As for Courntey…" His hands clenched into bloodless fists in his lap, and a hardened expression crossed over his face. "Courtney didn't have a miscarriage because she fell into the harbor. She intentionally had a miscarriage."

Elizabeth's mouth dropped open in shock, and horror. "I—I can't believe that."

"After the incident at the docks, Courtney was vicious and blaming me for losing the child. That my way of life was too dangerous and that I needed to get out of it," Jason said, his hand on his hips as he looked out the window up at the grey overcast that swirled above. "One day when Courtney went out with Carly shopping, I started to pick up a few things around the penthouse. I found a letter in the trash from one of Courtney's old friends, back before she came to Port Charles. She had apparently sent a letter asking how to cause a miscarriage because she didn't to gain weight, and didn't want the responsibility of raising a child."

"That's horrible," Elizabeth said, wrapping her arms around her stomach. She couldn't imagine not wanting her baby, or doing something like to harm her unborn child. She had never thought much of Courtney, but she hadn't thought she'd stoop so low like that. If she ever encounter the blond on the streets of Port Charles—unfortunately she had been given reason to stay because she had Nicolas's son, Spencer—then Elizabeth would have a few choices words for the bitch.

"Yes. Her friend told her that if she ate little, did a lot of exercise, and made sure not to get a lot of sleep that her _little_ problem would go away," Jason said, his tone vicious and bitter. He had hated—truly hated—a few people in his lifetime. Courtney was firmly at number one on his list. "I found the reply letter that Courtney had been writing. It was dated two weeks after her friend's letter arrived, and two days before she fell into the water. She was writing to tell her friend that it was successful and thanking her for such sound advice."

"Oh," Elizabeth's eyes widened.

"I should have known something was off, but I was busy with work for Sonny. Alcazar presented too strong of a threat to ignore, and I was never home to really notice what Courtney was doing. After two weeks of nonstop exertion, sleep deprivation and eating less than a bird, she got what she wanted."

"And you didn't know until after she claimed to have miscarried from fall into the cold water that she was pregnant?" Elizabeth asked, her voice hard.

"No, I didn't. She never wanted me to find out," Jason rolled the tension out of his shoulders, and braced his hands on his knees. "She never intended for me to find out, but it was two days after her miscarriage that she fell into the water. When she was rushed to the hospital—"

"Her hormone levels would have indicated that she had been pregnant, but when the doctors would check on the baby, they would find nothing," Elizabeth guessed, closing her eyes in mute despair. She couldn't imagine what kind of pain that put Jason through. Not only had Courtney given him hell, she had done so intentionally knowing that the miscarriage hadn't been the fault of Jason's life, but from her own selfish decision.

Jason nodded, mutely.

"That's why she blamed it on the violence. She didn't want anyone to know what she did, and then she used it to try to manipulate you. That bitch!" Elizabeth said, wishing she could punch something. Instead, she placed the palm of her hand on her stomach and gently rubbed soothing circles over her belly. "Why does no one know this? Why does Carly have her head still up Courtney's ass? Why has Sonny not turned her away?"

"Because they don't know," Jason told her, simply.

"Jason…" Elizabeth shot him an incredulous look.

"I confronted Courtney with the evidence of what she did. She, at first, tried to deny it, but when it was clear that didn't work; she still blamed her actions on me. I told her that I would be filing for divorce and that if she contested it then I would publish the letter in the paper for all of Port Charles to see," Jason told her, seriously. "At first, she didn't believe me. She got herself addicted to pain pills thinking that would change my mind, but it didn't. If Alcazar hadn't gotten rid of the car that proved she had hit you, Elizabeth, I would have—" He cut off, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "I would have let her rot."

One of the things that hurt the most back then was how easily Jason swept up what Courtney did to, or how easily he had pushed back it. Now, to know that hadn't been the case made her heart hurt. She had been so hurt at the time that it had blinded her from seeing the torment that Jason had been going through. "Jason, you should have told someone. Anyone," Elizabeth said, sitting down on the couch beside him. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly. "You shouldn't have had to go through that alone."

Jason slid an arm around her back, so she could cradle herself into his side as the pair of them relaxed back onto the couch. "After our divorce, Courtney still held out hope. I didn't care for the way Sonny dumped Sam on me, and ignored his responsibility to his child, but Sam was a barrier to keep Courtney away. Not that I didn't come to care for Sam, but it wasn't the love that everyone made it out to be," he whispered out, roughly. "Courtney came to me when she was pregnant and didn't know if the father was Jax or Nicolas. She wanted me to lie and claim the baby as mine."

"You obviously declined," Elizabeth arched a brow.

"Obviously, but I think that is why Carly and Sonny believe that I am so in love with Sam is because I turned away Courtney of all people for her," Jason snorted. "They thought my relationship with Courtney was perfect, but they didn't even know the half of it. Just like they don't know the half of my relationship with Sam. They see what they want to see."

"I understand. Some days I wonder if Lucky and I ever got together because we truly loved each other that way or because we got fooled into thinking we were the next Luke and Laura. This end all be all couple," Elizabeth said, resting her head on his shoulder. His strength and warmth made her feel safer than she had in these past few months, and now that she understood why he had left, all the anger she held for him faded away. To know that he had always loved her like she had always longed for him, she wasn't sure what was to come of that just yet. "I was so stupid to keep choosing him over, and over again when I knew my heart wasn't in it. My heart…" Her blue gaze flickered towards him, and filled with apologizes for the way she had handled the aftermath of Lucky's return. How she had hurt Jason when she had chosen Lucky over him, and she wished she could back to that time and shake her younger self.

"I know," Jason whispered, clasping her hand in his.

Elizabeth let out a shaky breath, and gave his hand a comforting squeeze.

"But…but the reason, I'm worried about the baby isn't because I think you'd do anything like Courtney. I know you wouldn't, and I would never hold you accountable for her actions," Jason explained, resting his right hand upon her knee. "I just know that things haven't been easy for you these last few months. I didn't have to be here to know that the Spencers would be giving you hell."

"And anyone who else that thinks they are entitled to an opinion," Elizabeth huffed, lightly.

"I should have been here. I'm sorry that I wasn't," Jason told her, sincerely. "I let you face so much alone, but that isn't going to continue. From here on out, I'm your man without reservations if you will have me."

Elizabeth turned to look up at him. Her heart clenched at the sight of the gentle shimmer in his eyes despite the darkness. Her heart fluttered inside of her chest, and the pain of years of misunderstandings eased inside of her. "Together?" She asked, simply.

"Together."

* * *

END OF PART ONE!

Hope you all enjoyed!

RRs are appreciated. :D


	2. Authors note

I want to thank everyone for loving and reviewing this story. I am sorry to say I have no idea if or when I will continue it. I honestly have no plans on continuing this as of right now. I apologize, and if anyone is interested in taking this story and adopting it please let me know.

Mirror


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